Halloween, that time of the year when we dress our kids up in the cutest store bought costumes, and we send them out into our neighborhoods to beg for candy that we don’t really want them to eat in the first place. I know, you are saying to yourself that I must really hate Halloween, or maybe I am just the Scrooge of October. I really do love this time of the year, and all the fun things associated with Halloween. I love carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns. I love the decorations, and trying to scare your family and friends. How could you not love our little neighborhood kids dressed up as Star Wars Characters, or White Winged Fairies, or even Little Devils?

I am just pointing out the after effects of this chocolate lovers holiday - all the left over candy. I think that most parents let their kids indulge in their candy collecting victory for the following few days, then they try to hide the stockpile little by little. We only let our son have a few pieces a day, and by the second week, he is back to his usual treat of Goldfish or Peanut Butter Ritz Crackers. Still, I remember the days of trick-or-treating and the different types of treats we would accumulate. Here are my Top 10 favorite types of Halloween candy.

1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. It didn’t matter if it was one or two in a pack, that for me was the Holy Grail of Halloween Treats. And you had to eat the ridges first, before you could get to the peanut butter center.

2. Snickers. Yes, Snickers Satisfies. I still think that this is the most sought after candy when you dump out your trick-or-treating bag. Many other types of candybars try to achieve their status, but all fail in comparison.

3. Hershey Bars. Not the little miniatures, but the real rectangular, flat, milk chocolate wonder that lead the way to the Mr. Goodbar, Krackle, and Crunch bars.

4. Hot Tamales. I was never a Mike and Ike guy, I liked the hot spicy flavor of Hot Tamales. I guess when it all comes down to it, you either like cinnamon or mint. As for me, I will take cinnamon, and I will take my Hot Tamales.

5. M&M’s. Plain or Peanut, it doesn’t matter. These gave you both quality and quantity in one little package. I would trade all of my candy corns and a few lollypops for the melt-in-your-mouth, not-in-your-hands taste of M&M’s.

6. Caramels. Those little cubes of confection that would adhere to your teeth like super glue. The most difficult part of eating caramels was just getting them out of the wrapper. Maybe that is why they created so many candy bars that just covered the caramel with chocolate. Call them what you want, I will eat them all.

7. Smarties. The little rolls of compressed sugar in the clear wrapper. I first thought you had to unwrap them and eat em one at a time. As I grew older, I realized that even though they came in different colors, they all tasted pretty much the same. Just peel the wrapper and shove them all in at the same time. Now that is smart.

8. Tootsie Pops / Blow Pops. I always liked the tootsie pops, since they came in different flavors. Having 3 siblings, I could barter with them to get my favorite flavors in return for the orange ones that I didn’t really like. Blow Pops added the magic of gum when you finally broke through to the center. This was a great feature, until I got braces in the 8th grade. Now, I can’t even look at them.

9. Milky Way. Is it just a fancy 3 Musketeers bar with caramel? Possibly. It still is far superior to the 3 Musketeers, and Mounds or Almond Joys just are not even in the same league. Who thought that kids would like coconut or a big almond in their candy anyway? Why don’t you just dip a green bean in chocolate, you would have the same result.

10. New Candybars. I just lumped them all together, since I couldn’t single out one specific type. I must say, the 100 Grands, Take-5, Nut-Rageous, and others are awesome. There is just something about a peanut butter filled pretzel, surrounded by caramel, and wrapped in milk chocolate that just makes me want to bust out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and have at it.

Did I miss any of your favorites? Are there any that you just couldn’t stand? I never could figure out why people like candy corns. To each their own, I guess. I hope you had a Happy Halloween, and I also hope you enjoyed this post.

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Today is my son’s first day of Kindergarten, and he is really excited. My wife, on the other hand has been a wreck all weekend. I have been thinking back to my early childhood school days, and although I am sure I was scared on that first day, I went on to thoroughly enjoy school and all the fun things that go with it. Here are my top 10 favorite things of kindergarten;

1. Recess. This is a no-brain-er. Every kid loves to play, and you don’t have to be able to tell time to know when it is recess.

2. Learning to read. It sounds like an obvious thing, but going from being read to and being able to read on your own opens up a whole world to a child. I loved to read. Little did I know that this would be the one thing I also hated about going to college. Too much to read, not enough time to get it all done.

3. Duck Duck Goose. This simple kids game was my favorite. Boy, could I run fast, and could play this game all day long. If you aren’t familiar with the game, you all sit in a circle, and one person is “it” and they walk around the circle patting each kid on the head saying “duck”. If your head is tapped and they say duck, you do nothing. If they say “goose” you get up fast as you can, and try to tag the person that was “it” before they make it around the circle and sit down in your empty spot. Now you are it and the game begins again. Great idea to the teacher that came up with this one.

4. Lunch Boxes. I got to pick out my own lunch box every year. Now I was the third of four children, and almost everything I owned was handed down from my two older brothers. This was one thing I had complete control of, and I made the most of it. I remember my Hot Wheels lunchbox, and I always thought the thermos was the best part. Actually, the “treats” were the best part, which consisted of either a twinkie, ding-dong, or these things called Zingers. Now that was a treat.

5. Reading out loud. This is when I started my lifelong mission of showing off. I would always volunteer to read first, last, long paragraphs, whatever. I still like to read out loud. I hope my son shares my enthusiasm toward reading out loud. Time will tell. Continue Reading

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I got a speeding ticket the other day, and as I prepare to fight the ticket in court, I realized that there are always two sides to every story. Although I think that I am usually right, sometimes the other side has a very valid point. Here are my favorite 10 police comments that were actually taken from police car videos around the country.

1. “No, Sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want.”

2. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

3. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

4. “Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In the case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.”

5. “Take your hands off the car, or I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

6. “Just how big were those two beers?”

7. “I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.”

8. “Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention I am the shift supervisor?”

9. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them a while.”

10. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.”

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The Olympics are here, and I find myself thinking that if I lean forward off my chair, that I can influence the outcome of the race. The pride you get from your country taking the gold, silver, or bronze medal in any sporting event can be overwhelming. I know that just having the games on the TV while I am trying to fall asleep makes it impossible to drift off quickly. I just have to know if Michael Phelps and the boys are going to win the gold, so my head pops off the pillow every five minutes to catch a peek. Here are my favorite 10 Olympic events and the reasons why you have to watch.

1.Gymnastics. There is always some great story behind someone on the team. You expect the Chinese Powerhouse to win every time, and they usually do. They are just that good. I also deep down hope there is a spectacular fall, which will catapult the Team USA to the top of the standings.

2. Womens Volleyball. These are some of the toughest, and physically fit women in sports, with the smallest uniforms as well. A definite ratings boost.

3. Swimming. I like the fact that these athletes train their whole lives, putting countless hours in the pool, rain or shine, and in a few minutes I feel just as good as they do by winning the gold. I really feel like I also should get my medal in the mail.

4. Basketball. It doesn’t hurt to know that you have the greatest athletes in the world all playing together for your team. This brings up the debate on allowing Professionals into the Olympics, but as long as we win, I will just look the other way.

5. Water polo. I played water polo in high school and I can tell you that back then, just like today, not many people watch water polo. The running joke then was that the hardest part of playing water polo was getting the horse into the water. For those of you that have never seen water polo, there are no horses in the water. These athletes are sprinting non stop and they never touch the bottom of the pool. It is tougher than it looks.

6. Synchronized Swimming. I just find it amazing that they can not only hold their breath that long under water, but they seem to be flawlessly connected in their maneuvers. When they are on, it is a beauty to behold. Continue Reading

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Man, was it a hot and humid weekend. This week the top 10 list is the best ways to keep cool in the summer heat.

1. Go for a swim. If you don’t have a pool, call a friend that does and invite yourself over (at least bring snacks or drinks.)
2. Go to the movies. Edwards is great, it has 18 movies to choose from, and it is air-conditioned. Say Hi to Javier for me if you do. He is the best.
3. Keep hydrated. I recommend going to Callahan’s Pub and hydrating with several pints and watching sports. Just make sure you have a safe ride home. No drinking and driving.
4. Go to Target / Walmart, etc. and buy a cheap inflatable pool. Fill it with the hose, and believe me that water is going to be cold. Lay down, listen to the tunes, and just chill.
5. Ice shirt and hat. It sounds stupid, but it works. Wet a hat and t-shirt, then put them into the freezer. In a few hours, pull them out, and put em on. Very cold at first, but yes it will cool you off.
6. Cold shower. Not much fun alone, but invite a friend and you are doing your civic duty by saving water showering together.
7. Pretend you are the refrigerator repair man, and you are doing a routine preventive maintenance on the local restaurant of your choice. Just bring a tool bag with you, and stand in their walk-in cooler for a while. They are usually under 40 degrees in there, and below 0 in the freezer. Then tell the manager on duty that everything is fine, and there is no charge. They will be glad to hear there won’t be a $200 bill coming, and you might get a free meal to boot!
8. Invite the local kids in the neighborhood over for an ultimate water balloon fight. Just fill up two large coolers with waterballoons, and put them on opposite sides of the yard. Sure, they sting sometimes, but that is the price you pay to keep cool.
9. Make a rootbeer float. I don’t think there are many things better during summer than a good old fashioned A&W rootbeer float.
10. Wash your car with your kid. No matter how old they are, washing your car with the bucket and hose is not only a great bonding time, but you are always the one that gets to run the hose, and therefore get to soak the little turkey before he/she gets you. Then take them out for a slurpee. Now that is what summer is all about.

Legal note: please don’t try to attempt #7. It is only a joke. No one will just let you walk in and do preventive maintenance without the expressed written consent of major league baseball. Don’t drink and drive. Live long and prosper.

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I was watching TV the other day, when I realized there just aren’t any good sitcoms on anymore. That got me thinking about my new top 10 list. Greatest sitcoms of all time.

1. Cheers - I know Sam was the star, but I think Norm was the unsung hero of the show.
2. Seinfeld - I can’t think of another show that people would talk about more often at work the next day. No soup for you!
3. Everybody Loves Raymond - My wife & I lived next door to my parents when we first got married, and the show was far too accurate !
4. Married With Children - Al Bundy was the epitome of how every husband feels but is afraid to admit in public. Christina Applegate was a bonus.
5. M*A*S*H* - One of the greatest shows of all time. It made you laugh, cry, and showed you how to survive in the worst of situations - during wartime.
6. Two and a Half Men - This is the only modern sitcom that even qualifies. The writing is original, edgy, and you gotta love the cast.
7. All In The Family - I don’t think they could run this show in today’s “politically correct” society. Archie Bunker just called it as he saw it. Gotta respect that.
8. The Cosby Show - I wonder if Archie Bunker and Dr. Cliff Huxtable would have gotten along? Great show, but a polar opposite of the concept of All In The Family. It made you laugh in every episode, until the kids grew up and they ran out of funny plots.
9. Taxi - This show brought us a hilarious cast which included: Danny DeVito, Andy Kaufman, Christopher Lloyd, Tony Danza, Marylou Henner, Judd Hirsch, and Jeff Conaway (currenty under rehab with Dr. Drew, but still on tv!) Who thought it would last more than a season, but I loved it.
10. Friends - I don’t know anyone who has a group of friends like that, but who wouldn’t want to try to hook up with Rachel or Monica? I think I would “take a bullet for the President” and date Phoebe if it meant I had a shot at her best buddies.

There it is, my list of favorites. I know, I left out The Simpsons, Southpark, and several other great animated ones, but I think they should have their own category. Remember that these are my favorites, but I do like to know yours as well. What did I forget? Let me know. Thanks for the feedback.

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Top 10 list volume 5. I told my poker night buddies about the 10 best guy movies, and they suggested the best quotes from movies as a topic. That is going to be this week’s list. My favorite Movie Quotes are:

1. “You’re killing me, Smalls !” - The Sandlot (1993)
2. “You’ll shoot your eye out !” - A Christmas Story (1983)
3. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” - Dirty Dancing (1987)
4. “I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.” - The Godfather: Part II (1974)
5. “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” - Animal House (1978)
6. “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die !” - The Princess Bride (1987)
7. “Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’.” - Shawshank Redemption (1994)
8. “There’s no crying in baseball.” - A League Of Their Own (1992)
9. “I’m an excellent driver.” - Rainman (1988)
10. “Say hello to my little friend! ” - Scarface (1983)

These are just a few of my favorites, and I am sure you can add to this list. I only list 10 to keep it simple. Any ideas for future lists? Let me know in the comments box below.

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We all know there are differences between men and women, as described in the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I had a discussion with some friends the other day about this subject, and we all wondered why men can remember movie lines from the greatest guy movies of all times, such as Animal House, while women just don’t have that ability. The discussion moved onto the best guy movies -vs- the best chick flicks. We had a hard time deciding which would be considered the best chick flicks of all time, since we only had the male perspective. Here is our top 10 List of the best Chick Flicks, otherwise known as the Top 10 Movies No Man Should Ever Be Subjected To Watching… Ever.

1. Beaches – Women love it, men hate it. I don’t know why, but I think it is because the title has nothing to do with our reasons for going to the beach: Surf, Bikinis, and Beer. Strike the last one, you can’t drink beer at the beach anymore (thanks to the newly passed Prop D).

2. Pretty Woman – Usually, this sounds like a plot that every guy would enjoy: rich guy, pretty prostitute, etc. but somewhere in the middle, our hero turns out to have a heart and our girlfriend/wife just has to watch this movie over and over until we just can’t stand it anymore. Add in every other movie with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, if you have seen one, you have seen them all.

3. The Notebook – I Never saw it. But I was told that it was the worst movie ever, and when I heard my wife, sister-in-law, and niece all loved it, well that was enough for me.

4. Any movie that has the words “Traveling Pants” or “Sisterhood” in it. There must be a reason why all men love Animal House, Caddyshack, and The Godfather. The same must be true for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, and others. Women love them, men would rather spend a weekend doing their honey-do list.

5. Gone With The Wind – I know it is one of the greatest movies of all time. It was just way too long. We are men, we have tiny little brains, and we don’t have any kind of attention span that is longer than it takes to complete a football game.

6. Steel Magnolias – Too much drama, too many issues, and too much crying. Yes, I did actually watch this movie, and although I liked Olympia Dukakis and Shirley MacLaine going at each other, I would rather have watched “Honey, I  Shrunk The Kids” which came out at the same time.

7. Grease / Dirty Dancing – Two separate movies, but same affect. We don’t like to dance. We look stupid doing it. If it wasn’t for slow songs, we may never know what a dance floor feels like. That is reason enough, but I will throw in this for good measure: No one puts Baby in a corner. Nice hair Swayze.

8. Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Another exploitation movie to increase sales of jewelry and brainwash men into spending their hard earned money on a “little blue box”.

9. On Golden Pond – Oh Norman, Please spare me this one. Superb actors and actresses, I will give you that but it fails in comparison to Porky’s (I, II or III).

10. Ghost – Enough with your love affair with Patrick Swayze. I liked him too in Road House when he was beating up everyone. I just can’t promote any movie that tries to make you cry with a line like “Ditto”.

That’s my list. I hope it did not offend anyone, that was not the goal of this exercise. I only do this to entertain. To show I am not the chauvinist pig you think I am, I will watch either Rudy or Brians Song this week to get in touch with my sensitive side. Then I will watch Mad Max to even things out again. Have a great week. See you at the movies!

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New week, new list. I was talking to a friend the other day about being punished into watching “Beaches” one time by an old girlfriend. This lead me to either write about the ten best guy movies of all time, or the 10 best chick flicks of all time. The fact that I am a dude will sway the vote to list my 10 favorite guy movies. Here they are:

1. Caddyshack
2. Animal House
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Pulp Fiction
5. Godfather (part 1, part 2)
6. Starwars (the first one issued, volume 4 in the series)
7. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
8. Brave Heart
9. The Usual Suspects
10.Shawshank Redemption

Now, I know there are far too many great movies to stuff into a top 10 list, but I used as a guideline movies that I could watch over and over again, or they had such great quotes that I still use them frequently. I can’t think of another movie that used Fresca for an ad placement than Caddyshack. That’s just awesome. “How ’bout a Fresca, hmm, huh?” Ted Knight is my hero. Have fun with your list… I am looking forward to Jennifer’s 10 best chick flicks ( or feel free to list your favorite guy movies!).

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Did you see the movie “The Bucket List” with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman? I haven’t seen it yet, but it does create a great post opportunity. What would go on your list of things to do before you kick the bucket? Some of mine I have actually accomplished, some seem very far fetched, and others I am working on completing. Here is my list:

1. Play a round of golf at St. Andrews in Scotland and drink pints of Guinness with the locals.

2. Buy a round of drinks for everyone in a bar without giving a reason. (easy to check this one off the list if you do it at closing time in a very small bar).

3. Go to another city to see your favorite artist play in concert, even though they played right here in San Diego. (I saw Stevie Wonder play in Arizona last year, and it was awesome!)

4. Sing the National Anthem at an event (not just standing in the crowd mouthing the words).

5. Write the last check paying off the 30 year mortgage on my house.

6. Watch my son hit a home run, and tell him that I am proud of him.

7. Volunteer to help change someone’s life for the better, not for the praise, but because it is the right thing to do.

8. Take my whole family on an exotic trip (we are far too practical to accomplish this one, but it is there none the less.)

9. Catch a baseball (foul or home run) at a Padres game. Note: I did get hit in the face by a homerun ball when I was 18, but a greedy fan decided he needed it more than I did.

10. Win more than a free ticket in the Lottery. I know, I am more likely to get struck by lightening than winning the lottery, but a boy can dream.

That is my bucket list. What would be on yours?

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